New Years' Resolutions: How to Set Realistic Goals for Yourself
5 Ways to Set Realistic Goals
When making New Year's resolutions it is easy to set an overarching goal, avoid taking action, diminish the importance of consistency over perfection, and hope for immediate results once we do take action. Unfortunately, this mindset tends to set us up for failure and can lead to a pattern of self-sabotage.
So how do we combat those possible pitfalls?
Focus on realistic goals, realistic plans, a realistic time frame, and compassion for yourself as you embark on this journey of growth.
Here are some tips from Flourish Mindset to help support you with the process:
1.Be Realistic
Consider where you are today and set a realistic goal from there. Remember, change doesn't happen overnight, and progress isn’t always immediately visible. When creating your goals be sure to set reasonable timelines (for the steps and overall end goal).
2. Identify Your “Why”
Identifying why that goal is important will help you remain focused when you encounter challenges along the way.
There will be times when you will need to dig deep, whether this is in the daily steps you are taking, or in your commitment to your goal in general. When things get difficult, which they inevitably will, it becomes easier for one to find reasons to quit. These are the moments when it is important to reflect back on why this was important to you in the first place. Remind yourself that discomfort is part of the process and oftentimes a necessary part of growth.
It is important to be aware of our true “why”. For example, we often hear the New Year’s resolution of wanting to lose 10 lbs with the goal of looking better. If we dig deeper, this “why” is usually a surface-level reason, and if we dig deeper there normally is more than meets the eye. For example, maybe there are underlying health concerns, underlying emotions dealing with self-worth, suppressed experiences with body shaming, etc. At Flourish Mindset, through online therapy in Walnut Creek, CA, we help clients delve deeper to identify their “why” and how these goals can have a positive impact on their lives moving forward.
3. Identify Your Needs
What tools, steps, or supports are needed in order to help you reach your goal?
Identifying what is needed to make your goal a reality is an important piece of setting yourself up for success. Sometimes this can be a physical item such as an alarm clock to limit nighttime distractions caused by your phone. Other times, this can be building a support system for yourself.
At Flourish Mindset our skilled team of therapists helps you identify what resources will help you accomplish your goal while building systems of support and accountability through online therapy in Walnut Creek, CA.
4. Bring Your Goal to the Forefront
Don’t allow your goal to be put on the back burner.
It can be easy to fall back into old routines. This can happen through a combination of old habits unconsciously being repeated and the hustle and bustle of everyday life causing our new routines to be forgotten or not prioritized. While you can expect change to be difficult and setbacks to be encountered, you can take certain steps to help ensure you continue to move in the direction of your goal.
Pair Your New Goal with One You Already Consistently Do
To help keep the new goal at the forefront of your mind, we recommend pairing your new habit with the one you already consistently do. For example, maybe your goal is to spend more time connecting with your partner. How might you take an initial step towards accomplishing this? Start by focusing on setting a realistic goal based on what you already do.
Maybe you consistently eat dinner with your partner, but both of you are on your phones, or the conversation is dominated by work. Place a reminder at the dining room table, setting the expectation that during dinner phones will be turned off and conversations about work are off the table. While this is a conscious action toward your goal, you are building it into a routine that already exists. This makes it easier for this new action to become a consistent routine.
5. Use What Works for You
Everyone is different. Do not expect someone else’s journey to mirror your own.
Once you have identified your goal, solidified your why, and addressed your needs, the next step is to create a plan to help you achieve your goal. It is important to remember that this is YOUR goal, YOUR journey and what might work for someone else might not be what works for you.That is okay. We are all unique individuals with varying life experiences and individualized reasons for our goal. That is the beauty of your journey, that it is uniquely yours.
At Flourish Mindset our goal is to help individuals along their journeys. While growth can be challenging and at times uncomfortable, the team at Flourish Mindset helps provide you with the tools, resources, and support to preserve during those difficult moments and find beauty along the journey. While reaching the end goal is cause for celebration, there are numerous moments along the way that deserve recognition and celebration as well.
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